Sunday, July 26, 2009

THE PRICE OF ADMISSION


The laws of physical attraction!

What do you charge for admission? What level of payment in the form of physical attraction do you require for admittance into your world? I ponder this question, based on the fact that two separate female friends have both told me recently that they have met interesting men, but won’t pursue anything further merely because that don’t have the price of admission. In other words, they are very unattractive or even down right ugly. They also indicated that on paper, these guys could be perfect for pursuing a relationship. I guess they should blame their parents for there physical appearance. Nevertheless, I wonder if you asked several women to write down all the deal breaking qualities a potential mate must possess from most important to least important, where will physical attributes fall in the sequence? Will “tall, dark, and handsome” be at the top of their list, the bottom, or on the list at all? To my female readers, think of it this way; God pulls you aside and puts 10 men numbered 1-10 in front of you. Now pay attention, the numbers represent the level of physical attraction for each man. God also tells you the following:


You can choose once and only once.

All men are of equal stature in life (same money, personality, sex drive, etc.)

The only difference is how they look physically.

And one more thing, if you decide to have children with one of these men, there physical appearance will have no bearing on how your children will look (i.e.: ugly man not equal to ugly child or attractive man not equal to attractive child; its 50/50 either way).


How will you choose? What would you base your selection on? What if he added one more thing; the worst he looks, the better he will treat you, and the better he looks, the worst he will treat you? Are you willing to sacrifice joy and happiness for the sake of eye candy? There have actually been studies done that suggest that the better a man looks the more likely he is to jump in and out of relationships consistently. It essentially means that he demands the affection of multiple women throughout his life.


The laws of physical attraction have been studied for decades. One article I read from research done at Florida State University says there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but attraction at first sight is another thing. The article also writes “no matter what reason one person has for sizing up another, be it seeking a mate, or sizing up a rival, a good looking person will capture a person's attention almost instantly and it can make it impossible for the person to turn their eyes away.” The subjects of the study were heterosexual men and women. All the participants fixated on people who were considered to be highly attractive within the first half second of seeing them. This was consistent around the board. We all are designed to instinctively be drawn to attractive people.


It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that relationships solely based on physical attraction are bound to fail. If your potential mate don’t possess qualities like intelligence, sense of humor, goal oriented, fun and adventurous, compassion, and friendliness, it will be difficult to maintain a lasting courtship. Will the existence of these qualities minus the physical attraction ever be enough for some people?


One article invites you to ask yourself “Do I have any ugly friends?” I look at the people in my circle and NO, I have not one friend that is ugly. The article suggests that we all use physical attraction in every corner of our lives. Imagine you are in a crowded room standing next to a friend having a conversation. A very unattractive person walks over and stands next you. This person does not say a word they are simply enjoying a drink. You begin to notice people looking in your direction. You know they are not looking at you. Do you begin to feel uncomfortable or not? If really makes you think for a minute, doesn’t it.


This was the best quote from my research:

“There is yet a deeper level within the core of our being that we sometimes miss. We are essentially spiritual beings .The law of physical attraction is a necessary but it is elementary to the spirit of love. The law of physical attraction is the light that draws the flame closer. It does not have the power to entice the flame higher or to keep it, there must be something more than that law that draws the flame to the fire. An example: It has been said that some women like the bad boy persona. Why? What is it that draws these women to them? It is the spirit of whom they personify. It is who they are whether real or imagined. What is spirit? Spirit is the true origin of a person, whether pure or impure. Spirit is the level within human consciousness that transcends us to a higher purpose, or calling. It is this that we must look for when determining who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Instead of making our decisions based purely on the law of physical attraction let us look deeper within the well of the person and see what the spirit of the individual brings before us. If it is the true spirit of a person that attracts us to them and vice versus, then we will experience a new level of intimacy and love, because we have chosen to rely on the spirit of love instead of the law of physical attraction.” Nita Carson


Could it be true that in order to find a prince that will treat you like a queen you may have to kiss a few toads?

Are you comfortable with your current “price of admission?”

In case you want to read some of the articles:


http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/383154/research_shows_how_physical_attraction.html

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/13/o.laws.of.sex.attraction/

http://www.elle.com/Living/Society-Culture/Helen-Fisher-Why-Him-Why-Her